Everything that’s now fashionable was ordinary for me growing up on a farm
September 27, 2024 12:00 pm(Updated 12:01 pm)
I grew up on a dairy farm in the Eden Valley in Cumbria, in a fun-filled but cold, draughty house. We had to warm our clothes on the radiator in the kitchen before getting dressed. Out of the front and back doors are fields and fells as far as the eye can see – even now you can hit a golf ball from the garden without risk of hitting anything.
Since then, I’ve lived everywhere from Leeds to the south of France – until two years ago, when I moved back to Cumbria. Since moving home, one of the things that’s struck me is how so many things considered “cool” now, were ordinary and boring parts of our upbringing.
Take, for example, cold-water swimming – that was just “swimming” for us growing up. Whether it was the time we lived in, or the geography: there seemed to be a lot of opportunities to play in ice-cold water; in lakes and tarns, or the old fashioned lidos which peppered in the villages along the foot of the Pennines where I grew up.
You had to wade through freezing ankle-deep water before getting in and everyone left with blue lips due to the temperature. I can’t remember enjoying it but I definitely remember having no choice. Now though, people do that for “wellness”. A cold-water dip is in vogue with everyone from bloggers to magazine writers – you can’t move on a weekend for dry robes.
When people talk about wellness, they inevitably start quoting studies and statistics about what nature does for you. But the minute you start putting numbers on things, for me it’s not fun any more. I don’t need validation from science to tell me that walking in greenery makes me feel good – I know it makes me feel good.
The walking trousers and walking boots we wore weren’t fashionable either – they were associated with conscientious kids, Duke of Edinburgh and cagoules. But now everyone at Glastonbury is in walking boots and wellies.
Similarly, when I was a kid we used to get the train down to Skipton and go to the charity shops. Now there’s so much hype around vintage shopping – but the way I see it, vintage shopping is just charity shopping with a makeover.
I love that people are using apps like Vinted and Depop to buy things second hand. The difference I guess, is that when I was a kid you bought one outfit and wore it multiple times, and now everyone seems to have a new outfit for every occasion. Something I too am guilty of.
At school, farmers’ kids were in a slightly marginal group of their own. My dad used to try and get me to go to Young Farmers’ parties at weekends – at the time I couldn’t have thought of anything worse.
But looking back wasn’t partying in a barn just a precursor to the festivals and field raves we all scramble for now? Maybe I’m being naïve, but I definitely feel like farming has had a makeover into a lifestyle lots aspire to – 4x4s for instance are everywhere; Barbours and Belstaffs are designer desirables.
I lived in France for a while when my boys were tiny. In markets and food shopping, everything is seasonal: I would regularly be told what I was buying rather than choose for myself. It’s a relationship between farmer and family that I miss.
I think sometimes here we are guilty of a big disconnect between food producer and consumer. Which is a shame given the proximity we have to the people making lots of our food. I know eating seasonally and locally can be more expensive, but not always.
Anyone who watches Clarkson’s Farm knows farming isn’t an easy way to make a living. When my dad retires he’s not going to have millions in the bank or travel the world. He made his whole career outside. But then his office was fields – which we played in growing up, and which my kids and their friends now run around in. My parents have never had massive student debt or had to wrestle rush hour traffic, or paid a fortune to live on top of each other. My dad would argue he didn’t have a wildly successful career but I totally disagree. As a working woman doing the juggle, I am in awe of how he made a living with a smile on his face. I think that’s because he had his feet in the soil – and often his hand up a cow’s backside.
Country living isn’t for everyone. You can’t get Deliveroo or Uber – which my city mates find mind-boggling.
But the older I get, the more I find myself chasing the life they have. My parents prioritised their health and wellbeing before chasing anything else. I’m not saying everyone should move to the countryside – but my parents prove that pursuing work-life balance and happiness is probably the way to go.
When you read health advice it always tells you to get more sleep and fresh air – but these were just the fundamentals for my mum and dad. I used to be desperate to get away from home, but now I think: why would I want to be anywhere else? That’s probably why after so many years away, I moved back here.
This week I’ve been…
Reading… MILFs by Paloma Faith. It’s tricky to carry around because there’s a picture of a big, glistening red lolly on the front cover with the words MILF (usually, this stands for “ mother I’d like to f**k” – slang for older women considered sexy) in big bold letters. Paloma Faith is such an interesting woman, who has been open about the various chapters of her life.
I was nagging my children to read more – my eldest has hit that age where he doesn’t want to go to the library because none of his friends do. Then I realised it’s no wonder they don’t, given they never see me with books, so I’m making a conscious effort to read.
Decorating… I love watching before and after videos of house transformations on Instagram. But now I’ve actually renovated properties of my own, I’ve realised so much of it involves knocking walls down which people put in for a specific purpose. So instead, I’m reimagining spaces. Instead of jumping to paint a wall – I might put a bit of fabric in the colour I’m considering in the area; instead of moving the kitchen table, I might spread out some newspaper in the area to see if it would really fit there. I’m a great believer in the idea that you can’t pre-plan how spaces work – people will flow in a way that feels natural. Your drunk friends will naturally sit in one place, your kids’ friends will enter the room and want to play in one corner.
Making… the most of the last days of sunshine. I see October as the time autumn truly begins in earnest, so I’ve been travelling around with my kids. We went to a small village in North Wales and stayed in a glamping tent. We found a beer garden and had such a great time we stayed another night. The kids are still just about at that age where they’ll scramble about on the rocks and kick a football around in the sand, which I feel so grateful for. Other days we went to Chester, to walk on their Roman city walls, then Alnwick Garden – a complex of gardens next to a castle in Northumberland.
Yorkshire Great and Small with Dan and Helen is on Thursday at 8pm on Channel 5 and on my5
