After years of fearing for her life at the hands of her husband, Sadie finally left the home they shared.
The couple bought the property and took out a joint 15-year mortgage together not long after they married when “everything was perfect”, she told i.
But towards the end of the first year of their marriage, in the early 2000’s, her husband became physically, emotionally, and economically abusive and she was trapped.
Sadie, which is not her real name, said: “He started to spend money from our joint account that we opened to pay for the mortgage and household bills on expensive personal items, so there were insufficient funds left to pay for the mortgage or household bills.
“He then stopped working but refused to claim benefits or look for work as it was ‘embarrassing’, but continued to spend heavily as if he was still working.”
The mortgage payments were approximately £1,200 to £1,500 throughout the marriage.
Sadie added: “I had to take on overtime and additional work in the holidays to cover the mortgage payments. If I didn’t bring in enough money, the physical assaults increased.”
A charity is warning that domestic abusers are using joint mortgages as a weapon, with one in eight women experiencing this.
The majority of the 1,000 women surveyed by charity Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA) said the cost of living made their situation worse and the joint mortgage payment prevented them leaving their unsafe living arrangement.
The last time Sadie was assaulted by her husband, she was hospitalised. She said: “I knew that if I did not escape, I might die”.
When she was discharged, she arrived home to find that the furniture they purchased had been “destroyed” or “removed” while her passport, driving license, bank cards and all documents relating to her savings accounts had been taken.
She said her husband had transferred tens of thousands of their life savings from their joint account and blocked her from accessing it.
Sadie got in touch with her bank, but she had to “convince them” that she had been paying the mortgage on her own for years before they agreed to help her, which she said was “a very traumatic time”.
She added: “Eventually, once I was given access to my banking records, the bank could clearly see that I had transferred money into the joint account every month to pay the mortgage for the majority of the term, including a large lump sum to lower the repayments.
“There were only two years left to pay on the mortgage at this point in time, but the bank deemed I would be unable to pay this on my own, despite the evidence shown.”
For three years after this, she was homeless as the police deemed it unsafe for her to return home, even without her husband in it.
She lived between refuges and her friends’ houses – sleeping on their sofa, whilst still paying the monthly mortgage repayments whilst the court case was ongoing.
Sadie said she couldn’t afford to pay both private rent and these repayments, especially because the experience left her with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) so she was unable to work.
“I had to borrow money from my family to pay the mortgage and associated bills.”
During the last two years of the marriage, she paid a large lump sum off the mortgage to lower the repayment rate as she was struggling to pay all the bills. This lump sum more than halved the repayments but was taken from her work pension retirement lump sum.
At the end of the court process, the property was sold, and the equity shared. Sadie said there was “no consideration” taken for the monthly mortgage repayments she had made.
Sadie added: “I had worked so hard to be able to afford it and put so much money into it, which was meant to be the inheritance for my children.
“Yet, I was terrified that he would find me. I had to keep going back into my local bank branch during this time to try and sort out the financial mess he had left me in, but I always questioned whether it was actually my fault.
“This was how the bank made me feel. Despite having a good career, I was being looked down on, or that’s how it felt to me. I felt very alone and constantly having to move, deal with court proceedings and find money to cover my bills just increase my sense of failure.
“I was afraid I’d be homeless forever and I was in despair most of the time, believing there was no way out.”
Sadie thought she would go into retirement mortgage-free, but she isn’t. She thought she would be able to own her home completely, but she can’t.
“I’ll be paying rent for the rest of my life. I have no savings and I’m fully dependent on my pension to make ends meet.”
“Sometimes, this makes me angry, but I hope I am now safe, which matters the most.”
SEA is calling on ministers to set up an urgent cross-government task force alongside the banking trade body, UK Finance, to better handle cases of mortgage-based abuse.
Deirdre Cartwright, public affairs and policy manager at SEA, said: “Perpetrators can use joint liability to cause a lot of economic harm.”
Signs that you are being financially abused
If you notice any of the following, it is possible you are being financially abused:
- Strange activity on your bank statement – for example, purchases you don’t remember making, or transfers you have not approved.
- Belongings going missing, particularly items that are valuable.
- Cash going missing from your purse or wallet.
- Pressure from people around you – including relatives and friends – to transfer ownership of property or give away valuables.
How to get help
If you have experienced financial abuse, there are organisations that can help:
- Hourglass provides confidential advice on reporting financial abuse – contact their helpline on 0808 808 8141.
- Victim Support supports people who have been affected by a crime. They can help you understand the rights and services you’re entitled to. They can also direct you to specialist organisations if you need additional help.
- You can report fraud and cybercrimes to Action Fraud.
- Surviving Economic Abuse and Money Advice Plus have partnered to offer a Financial Support Line to advise people experiencing financial abuse.
If you think a crime has been committed, you can report it to your local police by calling 101 or call 999 if you are in immediate danger.
