A woman has taken to Reddit to ask if she’s in the wrong for taking back a birthday cake she bought for her nephew and causing a lot of family drama along the way.
“I (30F) was asked by my sister (35F) to buy a birthday cake for my nine-year-old nephew’s party,” she begins her post.
“I was really excited and picked a Minecraft pig cake because it’s his favorite game and animal. The cake was bright pink because that’s the color of the pig in the game.”
The woman said she arrived at her sister’s house early with the cake to “hang out and relax with some drinks” before the children arrived.
She brought her a box of “canned fruity vodka waters” called “Mum Water,” which look like soda waters, but aren’t carbonated.
‘I didn’t think it would be an issue’
“My sister said the cake looked great, and I put the drinks in her fridge before opening one to enjoy while she finished preparing,” she continued.
“A few minutes later, my brother-in-law (35M) came into the kitchen and, without acknowledging me, immediately started criticizing the cake. He insisted that it should have been blue because it was for a boy and said he ‘knew what I was trying to do.’ I was caught off guard and didn’t know what to say.
“He was acting like the color of the cake was a huge problem, which seemed trivial to me, especially since the party was supposed to be about my nephew. I don’t see them often, so I wanted the day to go smoothly.”
‘My sister blamed me for ruining his sobriety’
She says she typically tries to avoid conflict with her brother-in-law because she doesn’t want to cause stress for her sister. He’s been through a lot, which includes having “serious issues with alcohol” although he’s been sober for seven years.
“At this point, I felt disrespected and decided that if he didn’t appreciate the cake I bought, then they didn’t need to have it. My sister ignored him and asked for his help in the living room,” she continues.
“I quietly took the cake back to my car and drove home. I didn’t check my phone immediately and waited a bit before calling my sister. When I did, she picked up almost right away, and she was crying. Apparently, my brother-in-law had drunk all six of the Mum Waters without realising they were alcoholic and got very drunk in front of the other parents at the party.
“My sister was upset and blamed me for ruining his sobriety because I hadn’t told her the drinks were alcoholic. I feel guilty about what happened and understand why she’s upset, but I honestly find it hard to believe he didn’t realise the drinks had alcohol. Part of me thinks he might have known.”
She then asks the internet to weigh in on the chaotic situation and decide whether she’s in the wrong or not.
The top commenter argued that she was the asshole in the situation, but not for the reason you might think.
They said, “YTA. Not because you bought the cake, not because you brought the drinks (unless you knew or have been told they do not allow alcohol in the house), not because BIL got drunk (unless you knew not to bring alcohol to the house), because he absolutely figured out the drinks had alcohol after the first few sips.
“YTA for taking the cake. You punished and penalised your nephew because his dad was an ass to you. You left a eight-year-old at his birthday party, without a cake. That was sh*ttty.”
Someone else agreed: “That’s it in a nutshell. Kids going to remember that for the rest of his life. Leaving was fine, just leave the damn cake. So they have it.”
However this person had a different take, saying: “Nah, kid will remember his dad shaming him in front of his peers, because his dad is a drunk. The cake is the least of that kid’s problems. The mother is an enabler and she’s blaming the wrong person.”
And this person voted for “ESH” or “everyone here sucks”: “I totally get why you left, but damn, you really screwed over your poor nephew. Sure, his dad is an asshole abusive drunk, but now the kid knows he can’t count on you, either. And your sister is a coward.”
