In life there are two types of relationships: those we choose and those that are imposed on us. The former are born from affinities, desires and conscious decisions, while the latter, such as family ones, are determined by the environment and blood ties. We know that chosen relationships can come to an end; We usually evaluate which ones to keep and which ones to leave behind, being clear that not everything goes. Although sometimes it hurts to walk away from them, we have the tools to face it and move forward. However, family relationships are much more complex. Ending them is one of the most difficult decisions we can make.
But (spoiler) The fact that we have not chosen them does not mean that we should accept any type of treatment, especially when it becomes harmful to our emotional and mental health.
That’s how he must have thought, after 28 years of relationship, Sofia Suescun when he decided that his mother, Maite Galdeanohe no longer lived with her. The specialist in reality showsand influencerone day she decided to pack her mother’s bags outside the house so that she would leave tired of the treatment she was receiving from her, and since then both have started an abysmal media battle that invites us to reflect on whether family ties They are reason enough to try to rebuild and repair a relationship that, under other circumstances, would probably have broken down immediately.
© GettyimagesThat the conflict between SofÃa Suescun and her mother has captured the attention of the media and public opinion, there is little coincidence. Beyond the curiosity that is generated whenever a well-known person exposes their problems in public, this time, the situation goes one step further, exposing a complex reality: toxic relationships between parents and children.
Beyond appearances, these relationships generate deep emotional wounds that can affect the well-being of both parties. And, in this case, and against all odds, it seems that the situation was causing discomfort to the young woman, who was in charge of put an end to the relationship making the drastic decision to live with his mother. A context in which anyone can identify themselves, and that leads us to analyze to what extent we should maintain those family ties.
© Getty ImagesGuidelines for identifying an unhealthy relationship
A toxic relationship, regardless of its type, is always characterized by an imbalance in power and communication between the parties. In the case of Sofia Suescunwhat we know is that the irreconcilable differences with his mother have been exacerbated by constant public disqualification and lack of respect for his individuality in the private sphere.
It has happened in other high-profile cases that we know about in Spain, such as that of Bárbara Rey and her son, Angel Cristo, and in others where, on the other hand, the fame and excessive ambition of the parents has developed harmful behavior towards their children, as happened with Miley Cyrus and her father, or with Britney Spears and his well-known legal fight against his father.
They are just public examples that exemplify other circumstances that can happen in anonymous cases, where parents can exercise their role of authority in an excessive manner, using manipulation tactics such as blaming and emotional blackmail to achieve their approval and control.
Conflict can arise from parents trying monitor every aspect of your children’s livesfrom their personal decisions to their professional life, by those who exert pressure for their children to achieve unwanted goals, by using guilt or victimization to make the child give in to their demands, or by major disrespect.
In this case, parents who behave in this way usually project their own insecurities and unmet expectations onto their children, hoping that they will satisfy your emotional needsa dynamic that usually leads to a cycle of reproaches and demands that strain communication and affect the family bond and that, if not treated in time, can end up completely damaging it without either party being aware of it.
© Getty ImagesHow we can cut the family relationship in the best way
Although it goes without saying that the relationships between parents and children are, In most cases, good, It is essential to know when to walk away. The decision to do so is painful and difficult to make, but in cases where the toxic dynamic deeply affects mental or physical health, distance is necessary for emotional survival.
We must always be clear that well-being must prevail over any bond that harms us.
Therefore, if after explaining how each person feels, an agreement is not reached, nor any behavioral pattern modified, therapy can significantly help that relationship improve. Sometimes all parents need is to realize that the umbilical cord has been cut, and that, like them, there comes an age where children are already aware of their identity and need to grow up learning from their own mistakes and successes. .
Even so, it sometimes happens that there are relationships that, no matter how hard it is for us to admit because of the affection we have sown in them, are incompatible. And nothing happens. There may be a difference in interests, or values ​​that do not allow us to have even a basic relationship with them. In these situations we can maintain cordiality, but there is no need for an attachment not even a proximity beyond. However, there are other extreme cases in which it is necessary cut off the relationship completely. This may include situations of emotional or physical abuse or in which the mental health of the children is at risk.
© Getty ImagesEveryone, even famous people, is susceptible to being involved in this situation, so in these cases we must take courage, define what behaviors are unacceptable and communicate it assertively. If that doesn’t work, it will be time to strengthen identity and self-esteem of who is suffering, gather courage, and communicate that you can no longer maintain that relationship in your life, or that, at least, you are going to get away from it a little.
Damage is inevitable for both parties, but with the help of mental health professionals it can be managed.
Going to therapy, with willpower, and being aware that that toxic relationship was hurtingThere will come a time when everything is much more stable, whether you look at the situation cold and, who knows, one of the parties may have found the formula to resume the relationship in a healthy way.
